Now that classes have ended, I finally have more than enough time to dedicate to this blog and add the one ingredient that’s sorely lacking: Me!
“I’m sorry for the things I said when it was winter” is a brilliant line I first stumbled upon on Instagram and I’m stealing it (like an artist!) because I can’t think of a better sentence to sum up my current frame of mind. (Note to self: This will also make a perfect title for my autobiography if I ever decided to write one.)
I’ve made no secret of how depressed I was from November to February. Shit got so real, there were times when I was genuinely afraid I could/would actually harm myself. I’ll never forget being in the airport for my flight back and having a huge anxiety attack; when I wasn’t hyperventilating, I was forgetting to breathe. My mother started telling me I could drop the course anytime and return home, but I told her I’d finish it – mostly because I had too much pride to quit.
I’m glad I rode it out, because sometime in March, things made a 180-degree turn without my orchestrating or even noticing it. As I’m typing this I realise I’ve already written two blog entries about this happy turnaround – it seems I can’t stop talking about it, but that’s because it was a real shock to me, and until now I haven’t completely wrapped my head around it!
In fact, the last two weeks were filled with pub lunches and club nights as my entire class scrambled to spend more time together before the end of term rolled around. Here we are at Pryzm Kingston:
After one-on-ones with our module leader on our very last day at university, we all headed to the local Spoons again (not that we go anywhere else, really), and some of us went for ice cream afterwards too. When I got back home, I had such mixed emotions – joy, relief, separation anxiety – that I couldn’t get started on my features portfolio, the next big assessment that was due in a few days. I was still on a post-pub high, looking at group pictures and chatting with my friends on Facebook. We all couldn’t believe classes were over.
Of course, that only means it’s time for other fantastic things, and this week is an exciting one for me: I’m thrilled to share that I’m meeting with a London-based calligrapher tomorrow for a potential internship at her design studio. Eeeeeek! I’m so nervous and excited at the same time! I’ve also received a handful of commissions for an upcoming bookazine by my old company. They’re fun assignments and I’m looking forward to writing them! Finally, I’m delighted that two incredibly talented ex-colleagues and dear friends agreed to participate in a still-secret project – to be revealed in a few weeks’ time.
A few months ago I would have said I regretting coming to London to pursue post-graduate studies. Now? I can only say that 2015 is shaping up to be the best year of my life, and I’m incredibly grateful.