Although my first (and only) post was written ages ago, I’ll leave it here as a reminder of how far I’ve come. Well, it isn’t really that far, but it feels like it to me. Until the first half of the second semester (which means a few weeks ago), I had suffered from an affective disorder. The psychologist I saw back home in December told me they don’t call it Seasonal Affective Disorder in the field anymore, but let’s stick with that for simplicity’s sake.
I still have a couple of unfinished entries about the struggle that was so very real for me during my first few months in England. There were good days and bad days. There were days when I sat in my room thinking, I can’t believe I had the audacity to think I could do a master’s degree in London. There were days when I thought, No, hold on, I can do this. And then the cycle would begin again. “There were days when I felt stuck, and lost, and beaten,” I wrote in one of those drafts.
Thankfully – FINALLY – I don’t have those bad days anymore. That’s not to say life is always sound as a pound (ha! I found that on a list of British idioms), but I don’t feel stuck and lost and beaten anymore. I attribute my newfound happiness to a number of things, not least of which are the longer days and slightly warmer weather. (Spring, I absolutely cannot wait for you to get here!)
“I feel like a changed person!” one of my flatmates exclaimed last week when we were chatting in the kitchen about the small but significant changes in the weather.
“That’s exactly how I feel!” I said. It’s true. It’s still cold even when it’s sunny, but the clear skies put a spring in my step and a smile on my face every day. Cheesy, but true. I’m no longer battling miserable winter mornings and blinking back tears while walking to school.
There are other things, too, like the good marks I got for earlier assignments, the design class this semester that I’m thoroughly enjoying, and the days and nights I’ve spent laughing with my school friends, but I think it’s mostly the weather. It’s amazing how a few additional degrees have made such a huge difference.
In my first/last ‘London Progress Report’ – I’m going to call them LPRs from now on – I wrote about my framed ‘This is where the magic happens’ print, and how it didn’t really feel like magic was happening. But now I feel very differently. Now I feel like magic is happening. And more magic is about to happen. Call it a fearless forecast, but here’s hoping it’ll be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Welcome (again!) to my blog and my London life. This is where the learning happens. This is where the magic happens.